Why 30 is Not the New 20 and Creating Identity Capital

Today a friend shared this enlightening TED Talk on Facebook. Since I'm fairly sure my main audience is composed mostly of 20-something-year-olds, I thought this would be a valuable video.

If you aren't interested in watching, I'll add my thoughts on creating identity capital as she mentions. Meg Jay states that the 20's are not developmental downtime; they're the developmental sweet spot for defining our futures. 

I agree that now is the time to make choices that contribute to future success and happiness. I just graduated from college. I got married two years ago. I imagine my family of procreation will take off in the next few years. 

Admittedly, I don't have major long-term occupational plans for financial reasons. However, I've always had the dream of owning and operating a children's theater designed to give individuals a place to grow without pushing their moral standards. I know that in order to do this I need to build my credentials and learn about running an organization (I would like it to be non-profit). Now is the time to prepare for that, I believe. 

Jay also states "the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your twenties as it re-wires itself for adulthood, which means whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it." 

This seems pretty crucial in my opinion. I try to be intentional about how I live; I'm always setting goals and making checklists. I want to make a personality bucket list, so to speak. I did this as an early teenager. I had a list of qualities I wanted in a husband some day, but I knew we wouldn't be compatible if I lacked a lot of those qualities. I worked hard to become the kind of person I wanted to marry, and then I got married and realized I wasn't even close, haha. 

Well, I am off to make a list of the characteristics I'd like to have ten years from now (it includes rock-hard abdominal muscles). <-- Just kidding. :)

See you!

Second Week of Medical School Down

At the outset, I'll share some spiritual musings as of late. Per suggestion, I read a talk called "Children" by Elder Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is an excellent and sensitive talk about families.

The point that stuck out to me the most was that "we believe in families, and we believe in children." I don't understand why, through the years it has become so much less popular to have families and children. How can regeneration possibly be a descending trend? Elder Anderson cites this Christian blog post quoting,

"[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood ... Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get ... Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." 

I hope I can overcome myself and put this goal at the top of my list someday. I share this because I find a lot of the advice I've been the recipient of about marriage and family discouraging and this article and the blog were illuminating for me. I'm positive there will still be nay-sayers, but mark my words, I am looking forward to being a mom someday, while I fully expect challenges and difficulties beyond my wildest imagination. People told me marriage would be worth putting off and would generally limit me, but well, it hasn't.

As a matter of fact, so far it has really prodded my progression as a person all around. I think marriage has highlighted a lot of my personal issues and I've had to face them head on and change for the better. For me, I truly don't think that would happen on my own, even if I was finding myself in the Alps, or being single and obnoxious for several more years, or getting another degree or something else people feel are pre-requisites for settling down. The bottom line is that when it's right, it's right. It's a very personal matter and that should be respected.

I guess I feel impassioned about this because it is really easy to listen to those voices. I know they are trying to be helpful and many populations would feel the advice to be wise and good. I tend to be easily persuaded, but family is central to God's plan of happiness. I also found this point really helpful: Adam and Eve did not have their children in the Garden of Eden.

So, yeah.

Last week was nice. Here are some of the things that happened:

 Jeff had Taco Bell for the first time in his life. He answered a question correctly and his professor offered him Taco Bell as a reward.

Husband rating: 5/10

Jeff has already made 900+ flashcards. He has been really busy, however, we've been able to spend a lot of time together. He has his first exam in a week, so I suspect he'll be the busiest he's been so far. 

Jeff has been dissecting HUMANS. That is still so weird to me. I've never seen a cadaver, but I have certainly smelled one, if you know what I'm saying. It's not that bad...Just a little creepy. 

Here's a peek at some of our meals this week:

We really love Slab Pizza in Provo. For those not acquainted with Slab, it's a fantastic pizza place with a pretty bizarre menu. Our two favorites are Buffalo Wing and Chicken Enchilada. Since we can't go to Slab, I fashioned two copycat recipes. They turned out pretty delicious, if I may say so myself. I ended up making five pizzas this week. Yes, five. It's easy and a great way to feed a lot of people--like me and Jeff, haha.

Click for recipe :)

Click for recipe :)

As for projects, I stained this and a wooden crate. I got this mirror from Jeff's cousin Hannah right before she was going to take it to the D.I. Thank you! I sanded it down, wiped it off and gave it one lazy coat of Rust-oleum Ultimate Wood Stain in Kona (this is the same stain I used on my deer head project. I wanted a distressed look and I like it just like this. It's pretty and very dark. 

We have a free gym nearby, so I have been swimming and lifting. Yay! It feels good to be settled. Also, there are like six girls that are all are wives of students and/or recent move-ins from Provo. We have spent time together swimming, hanging out, watching movies, and generally supporting each other. :)

Disclaimer: If it sounds like I am doing nothing all day, that is a little bit true. My job doesn't begin for about a week and a half. I am doing some part-time nannying though. That, by the way, is awesome and I love it.

I've been thinking about how incredible the human body is lately. Jeff comes home and tells me that he held lungs in his hands or handled a human heart. He is having some remarkable experiences, for sure. This sums up some of my thoughts in that regard:

Update/First Week of Med School!

Dear everyone,

Thank you so much for all the love and support you have shown Jeff and me in the past couple weeks! We have felt so secure in our new surroundings thanks to all the encouraging and helpful comments, texts, and phone calls.

Here is first, an explanation of why I haven't posted recently and second, a little update on our lives (or some good news after this post...oy vey).

An explanation:

Jeff and I have been reasonably busy lately. Jeff is starting his second week of medical school today! Here's a cute, but sad story to illustrate what that looks like so far (Jeff allegedly doesn't remember this); Jeff typically falls asleep much faster than I do, so just as I start drifting off to sleep, Jeff bolts upright as says, "I'm stressed out about med school!" He then fell back asleep. I have no words.

Real-life [almost] doctor man!

Maybe this is why he feels that way:

Jeff wakes up around 6 AM (not new) and does his routine he's done since I met him. He leaves for school around 8:15 AM. He finishes lecture/lab sometime between noon and five depending on the day (although he stays on campus until about 5 PM to study almost every day) and then he comes home, where he studies until 10:00 or 10:30 PM.

Jeff has mentioned that he covers much more material in medical school than he did at BYU. It seems that he has already covered a semester's-worth of material in a week, people.

The hardest part seems to be that the students don't know what exactly will be covered in the exams, so they are memorizing everything. Jeff has also mentioned that medical school is a little less organized than BYU was. Thank goodness for the student Facebook group that has saved a number of hides as other students have sent out due dates as they are uncovered in the lack of syllabi... yikes.

Notwithstanding Jeff's workload and dedicated study habits, we still hang out for about an hour and a half every day. :) Man, he's the best.

Here's what I have done all day:

• Moved all of our things in (keep reading to find out what that means, exactly)
• Organized our belongings
• Bought this couch (look familiar? Craigslist)
• Hung out with these people; I.e., made friends (I have made quite a few friends, but haven't taken pictures of them, haha)

• A bunch of stuff Jeff would be doing if he were here
• Cleaned a lot
• Painted this

Jeff loves deer. I consider it a patronus. Win win. ;)

• Celebrated this

Made it me-self, words and all.

Blimey, 'Arry!

• Updated my blog 
• Implemented this life hack

• Exercised
• Picked this up off the side of the road (project pending)

• Fed the missionaries
• Fraternized with other med student families (in church, in Jeff's study groups, and in the Married to Medical School group)
• Tried plenty of great restaurants (C&J's barbecue [Claire & Jeff?], Fuego's, Grub Burger, Hullabaloo...)
• Exhausted my GPS
• And cooked these

Click on image for recipe :)

Click on image for recipe :)

Oh! I also got a job. I will be working at the A&M preschool! I am so excited, but I don't start until the end of August so if you need me, I'll be watching Netflix (just kidding).

An Update: 

So, about  my last post. I think some folks are probably wondering what in the freak happened in the end, haha. Let me tell you: 

Jeff and I moved into the stinky apartment. I got sick, blah, blah, blah, we went to a hotel for three or four days (management refunded us, bless their hearts. Seriously). They told us that a unit two doors down from us would be available until the beginning of August. They told us we could live there until something else became available--dismal, but better. In the meantime, we moved our things over to the new apartment, washed a bazillion loads of laundry trying to get the cigarette smell out, met with an apartment locator and school attorney, and prayed that everything would work out. 

Further, we talked to our manager, regional manager, and corporate manager about breaking {annihilating} our lease. We got things in writing, we took plenty of pictures, and then they called us telling us that two larger and smoke-free apartments were available. They happened to be the floor plan we were kind of expecting (sans granite countertops, which apparently never existed--we don't care). We moved for the third time that week into a different building, and guess what. It is pretty, darn cute! 

Some people might be wondering why we didn't keep fighting to end our leasing agreement ("They were dishonest with you," "It was a bait and switch,""Why would you want to stay there?"). To that I would say that it really is nice. We live in a beautiful, green, quiet area with nice neighbors (and two other Mormon, married, med-school couples in our complex); the management proved that they were happy to accommodate us when we had issues (arguably personal preferences, even); we have free water, cable, internet, and a full gym; and we like the apartment itself (I will post a tour once we have pictures on the walls). 

By the way, none of our belongings smell like smoke! If you want to know how to get cigarette smoke out of furniture, here is a resource. We used cornstarch and baking soda to "deep clean" our mattress. It was way easy and totally effective.

A final word on Southern charm and hospitality: PEOPLE HERE ARE SO DANG NICE, Y'ALL! Really! I can't believe how friendly they are! AAAAND THEY REALLY DO SAY HOWDY!! I really love Texas. I love my apartment. I love the people. I love all the Texas-shaped things, haha. I love the food and the campus and everything. 

I feel right at home. 

Again, thank you for all the help. We know so many good people.

YOU ROCK!!!