Where does the time go? Lately, I've found myself a bit conflicted; often I feel totally ecstatic that this baby is coming so soon. Other times I am terrified. I know what little babies are capable of. But really, what are they capable of? Sometimes I think working at a pre-school is coloring the way I feel about motherhood and childbirth. I forget that babies don't come to the world running and climbing and putting every. little. item. in their mouth. I mean, heck. They don't even have a pincer grip, let alone the dexterity and where-with-all to take a Sharpie to the sofa.
{exhale}
I am grateful that new babies kind of just lay there for a little while. I think it will be a nice change after chasing ten two-year-olds under tables all this time. Just going from ten to one ought to be kind of great. (I will miss those kiddos though.)
Additionally, I have been a little worried about the delivery as well as postpartum care. I use to be really moody before I got pregnant. It was a kind of PMS that made me feel out of control. I wanted to grapple with the universe and cry and argue when I knew there was nothing to grapple with or cry or argue about.
I have also had three or four mild depressive episodes in my life and I just don't know what to expect when my progesterone levels (which seems to be keeping me so happy right now) plummet after delivery. I am pretty worried about it and I really don't want to be a crazy person. I guess that's kind of personal. I am soliciting advice in that area, so please let me know what kept you sane during or what you would have done differently with your postpartum recoveries.
Another thing I've been thinking lately: newborns are cute. I mean really cute. I understand they might be rashy or grayish or cone-headed (haha) at the outset, but my gosh, they are still REALLY cute!
You guys, she looks like a baby! She might have hair. She has fingernails! I just get so curious about what she's doing and thinking and looking like. I think about her a lot. I am just so dang excited!
Oh! I keep forgetting to mention that we will be in Utah for TEN WEEKS this summer!!!!! Hear that friends and family?! Jeff has an internship at the University of Utah so our little family of three is heading over to our homeland, haha. :) So, if you'll be in Utah, you better hit me up and hold my baby. :)
I should do the questionnaire, too before I run off doing errands:
How far along? 32 and a half weeks
Baby is: 17-19 inches long, 41/2 to 5 pounds!
Total weight gain/loss? 15-17 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes.
Stretch marks? ...yes. Oh, well. :)
Sleep? This week I have slept pretty well!
Best moment this week? The older preschool kids asking me, "Do you have a baby in you?" Every time I walked down the hallway, haha.
Miss Anything? Not recently.
Movement? Yes
Food cravings? I don't think so
Anything making you queasy or sick? I almost tossed my cereal this morning. But I didn't!
Have you started to show yet? Yes.
Gender? IT'S A GIRL!
Labor Signs? None.
Belly Button in or out? Half out
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time? A little more irritable, but happy most of the time.
Looking forward to? Moving and being done with work in two weeks!
I am so excited for you. I have no doubt that you will be an excellent mom!
ReplyDeleteYou look so great and are getting so close!! I remember having so many of the same feelings... So excited, yet terrified. Such mixed emotions! Also, I have so many thoughts about postpartum depression. I also had depression during high school years and college and I did struggle with postpartum. Its so hard to write about it all... But one thing I wish I would have done was talked with my Relief Society President and friends, and OBGYN before and been open about asking for help. Knowing that I had a history of depression, I should have been more on top of asking for help, but I just hoped it wouldn't happen. I also thought people would just automatically bring dinners. For me they didn't. After a week or so my husband had to call the RS president and ask for help. Anywayyyy.... Sorry, this is long, and I'm rambling. Message me on FB if you have more questions. I'd love to talk about it :-) You are going to be a fabulous mom!
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