Monday, September 21, 2015

#MedschoolMonday | 20 Date Ideas for Medical Students























Hi!

I hope you are having a phenomenal week so far. Today I wanted to share some dating ideas for medical-school couples.
Sometimes we go all out. We commit time and resources to dates on special occasions, but we are poor and Jeff is busy, so this is a non-comprehensive list of fun, cheap dates that accommodate a second-year medical student's schedule:

Taken by Sami Jo at Sierra's wedding


























1. Go get snow cones, ice cream, or smoothies
2. Watch a local sports game--this post comes to you from a middle school football game
3. Go for a walk
4. If your community has it, rent a puppy
5. Volunteer together
6. Read out loud--we love reading Harry Potter and the scriptures mostly
7. Play games
8. Double date with friends, neighbors, or other med students
9. Exercise or go to the recreation center
10. Cook together
11. Take sack lunches to the park
12. Create a time capsule adding memories of your life together--ours includes our wedding invitations, a mixed cd, written notes, ticket stubs from other dates, and pictures
13. Host love language olympics--figure out each other's love languages then see who can out-serve the other
14. Make a five-year plan then look at real estate in your planned hypothetical location
15. Check out local attractions
16. Mini golf
17. Attend school or church dances
18. Go on a bike ride
19. Go to a restaurant you've never tried
20. Go to the farmer's market

Now get on out there and continue your courtship, scholars.

Have a good week and come back for Wifey Wednesday (I will talk about this last weekend and what I love about motherhood) and Satur-DIY (I will show how to make bows like the one below)!



If you missed my last post, go check it out! I made a cutesy macaron (fancy, delicious, French cookie) tutorial.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

#WifeyWednesday | Our Story


In the spring of 2011 I wrote this in my journal:

"My name is Clarissa and I am disinterested in getting married until after graduation."

25 hours away, Jeff decided he wouldn't get married until he was 25.

We met about two weeks later.

This is a good place to start our story.

H O W  W E  M E T :

Jeff moved into a guys' apartment in my complex just 15 feet away from my front door. I saw him the day he moved in. He was wearing khaki shorts. He wears a lot  of khaki shorts. The first time we actually talked was at church. I said hi and apparently that did Jeff in.

He reports that he felt the spirit tell him he was going to marry me. He shrugged it off and moved right along (I'm realizing this would be better if we were both writing this because his perspective is different than mine). 

The impression kept coming to him for the following weeks. He would ponder about other items and I guess the prompting that I would be his wife just kept coming back. 

Meanwhile, I continued in the way of obnoxious, attention-hoarding college sophomore girls everywhere; I dated a lot of people and was horridly lacking in self-awareness. I also talked really loud, talked in thilly voitheth all the time, and took up the viola for the first time in my life, so add screechy string instrument to the imagery. 

One day I was asked by my Family Home Evening leader to ask the guys in Jeff's apartment to make a dessert for FHE that night. I headed over and felt like Jeff would answer the door and that something significant would happen.

Sure enough, Jeff was standing there in the doorway so I said, "CanyoumakeadessertforFHEokaybye!" 

Jeff said yes and as I was walking away asked if he could have my phone number. I gave it and chalk the event up as significant to this day. :)

A little while later, I was doing my oblivious thing and "shooting Gatorade commercials" (dumping water on my face) in front of his apartment; simultaneously inviting friends over for night games. 

Jeff was standing a little way's off talking on the phone (I found out later that he was talking about me and buoying up the courage to ask me out). I approached him and asked if he wanted to come over to play games and instead walked away with the plan to go on a walk together. 180. Wow.

T H E  W A L K :

As we left for our walk (which was the first of many walks to come) I felt led to not expect romance, to be as honest as I've ever been with anyone, and to get to know Jeff. We skipped all the small talk and jumped right in to the steak and potatoes of get-to-know-yous; 

"Who do you look up to most in your life?"
"What are your core values?"

I asked him a lot of questions and told him everything I could about myself. I shared my struggles and what I wanted out of life and blah, blah, blah. At this point, Jeff told me what was up, kind of.

He told me how he felt he was suppose to let me into his life for some reason, but he only wanted to do that if I was really trustworthy. He told me that all my sharing did that for him. I was attracted to him so I thought, "Alright. Crushed it." 

I had no inkling that he thought we were going to get married though. Good thing he left that tidbit out the first time we hung out. I thought he needed to confess something to the bishop and needed moral support or something. Truly. Clueless Clarissa. 

However, when I sat on my bed that night after our walk together, the spirit hit me like a ton of bricks. It said, "If you two got married you would be very happy." I thought, "Woah, I don't even know if that was a date. I'll log that away and I will never tell Jeff."

D A T I N G :


Jeff and I were both secretly harboring these impressions and went on walks together everyday. We sat at parks and random lawns and just talked. We did this for about a month. I knew that the end was inevitable so we took things really slow. I even had him go on a date with my best friend in the budding stage of our relationship. 

We both knew we were suppose to get married and we wanted to get married. Jeff had every single quality I hoped to find in a spouse. No joke. Every. Single. One.

We dated for about six months and then came Christmas Eve 2011.

T H E  P R O P O S A L :


Jeff took me to his family Christmas party and we planned to go to Temple Square afterwards to see the lights.

When we arrived in downtown Salt Lake his family called Jeff and told him that his dad was sick and they would not be joining us. Jeff asked me if I'd still like to walk around Temple Square and I said yes. 

Just a random picture of us at Temple Square--Not the night he proposed. I'm a great blogger, haha.
We ended up going on a horse-drawn carriage ride through the snowy city. I thought that was very romantic and spontaneous of Jeff to suggest. We got to the gates of Memory Grove and the driver named Crystal turned to us and said she didn't realize how close it was to 9 o'clock and she would have to drop us off there. 

I knew something was up because Crystal was going to ride right back to Temple Square; so, I went along with it. I was like, "Okay, thanks!" and got out. Haha.

Jeff asked if I wanted to walk around and I said sure. We would walk and then he would stop and check his phone. I kept thinking, "Is he going to propose here?" He was coordinating with his family, but I had no idea. He actually stopped in front of this tiny Highland High School dedication plaque and I was pretty sure he was going to get on one knee right there. 

Thankfully he held out and we walked down this beautiful trail and reflected the time we had been dating. We both expressed how happy we were and how much we cared about each other and other such sentiments. I started to see little, twinkly lights in the distance and as I got closer I realized Jeff (and his family) had set all these little candles around a little white Christmas tree. He asked me to sit on a bench and pulled out a box with a ribbon. 

He had me open the gift and he pulled out a ring box and got on one knee. He opened the ring box to reveal my exact dream ring; a six-pronged, round cut little beauty on a super skinny white gold band. 

I said yes, put that puppy on, and never looked back.

Oh, and he filmed the whole thing. Brava!


M A W W I A G E :


We were married in the Salt Lake Temple May 23, 2012. It was a Wednesday. We had an open house at the Lion House the day before and a reception that night at the Ivy House. Everything went without a hitch and it was so fun!


We honeymooned in Hawaii, but here's the coolest part. Jeff tricked me into thinking we were going to San Diego until we got to the airport! That Jeff is pretty darn slick. 

T O D A Y :

We have been married for three years. After three moves, two degrees, and a baby, we have grown a lot. I am so extremely lucky to be married to Jeff. I have never met anyone so hard-working, Christlike, humble, and committed to doing the right things for the right reasons. It was definitely the best decision I've ever made.


Here is to many more. You go, Jeff Falco!

Monday, August 31, 2015

#MedSchoolMonday | How to Stay Close to your Med Student Spouse


Welcome back to Med School Monday! 

Last week I posted an interview with my husband about the second week of medical school. Feel free to go read it. Jeff's so cute and humble about his hard work. This week I wanted to share some tips for how to stay close to your medical student spouse.

When I think back to summer 2014 a few anxieties spring to mind. I was so worried. I listened to doctor-wife veterans about the doomed fate of my marriage; how I would never see my husband; how he would never have time for his family. I was terrified.

Jeff heard at one point that becoming a doctor; I.e., going through med school, residency, fellowship, etc. can make or break a relationship. We resolved to let becoming a doctor make our relationship. While that goal was established before he even took the MCAT, we are closer now than ever. We truly are! Because of this, I want to share four fundamentals that are helping this couple out, but first a gentle disclaimer:

This post is not to discount legitimate and sad testimonials. I am a part of a few doctor's wife groups and I see some pretty discouraging posts every day. I believe that we will have many hard years ahead and the struggles may continue even once Jeff is a doctor. Additionally, my husband and I are equally engaged in giving our marriage everything we've got. My husband is amazing and that makes all the difference.



1. M A K E  Y O U R  S P O U S E ' S  N E E D S  A  P R I O R I T Y

I love talking. I could talk all day. I especially love talking to Jeff. He is the Calvin Coolidge type and I speak enough for three of us. This is something worth sacrificing, and believe you me when I say that's a struggle.

I know that my husband needs undistracted study time every day (probably why he spends so much time on campus). I make this a priority. I do my best to distract myself so I don't lay on our bed and tell him everything going on in my head.

My husband also appreciates an early bedtime. I don't. I like staying up. Nevertheless, I try to make sure he at least goes to bed by 10:30 instead of talking and keeping him up.

Sometimes Jeff has an upcoming test and this means we need to forgo something I want to do. That is okay. These are all okay! It's like I'm investing in our relationship by showing that I see and respect my husband's needs.

2.  L E A R N  Y O U R  S P O U S E ' S  L O V E  L A N G U A G E S

Have you read Gary Chapman's the Five Love Languages? Okay, that is your first place to start, my friend. When I was in my Family Studies classes at BYU we talked about the five love languages at least once in all the core classes. This is my starting point for improving all my relationships, but especially in our marriage.

Let me lay out our experience with this book:

Jeff ranks Acts of Service towards the top of his love languages. Words of Affirmation is further down his list. This is inverted for me. I love receiving genuine sentiments of appreciation and affection. Jeff loves when I do the dishes for him. Conversely, when I compliment Jeff he feels like I am buttering him up and when Jeff serves me I feel like he's picking up slack. We both feel uncomfortable in those situations, even though we are both treating each other the way we most want to be treated.

Knowing this about each other helps us streamline our relationship. I can show him exactly how I feel by cooking dinner, cleaning the house, and doing the laundry. That's just my husband though. What is your spouse's love language? Share them in the comments!

PS - You can take the love language test free here.

3.  G I V E  1 0 0  P E R C E N T

I read in a doctor wife forum the other day that 50-50 is what you give in a divorce and 100 percent is what you have to give in a medical school marriage.

Everyone's 100 percent varies in appearance. The key is to give your marriage everything you've got. If that means working, great. I have a degree that yield entry-level jobs a plenty, so my 100 percent takes place at home. I make sure Jeff's needs are met and exceeded where possible. I am not perfect, but I do give my best every day.

Jeff gives 100 percent, too; he does everything he can now so he can have a family-friendly lifestyle later. In addition to his scholastic efforts (he was first in his class last year), he makes time for our family, takes me on dates, and makes sure I feel appreciated.

I don't expect reciprocation. My husband does reciprocate, but I try not to expect anything. That is service. I take responsibility for my own happiness and meet my own needs so I don't expect my husband to. I posted about that a little while back, if you want to read about that. This leads to my final principle:

4.  B E  G R A T E F U L  +  S E T  L O W  E X P E C T A T I O N S

Gratitude and low expectations are key to a happy marriage. Simply don't expect anything. Low expectations often means exceeded expectations. This can sometimes be a bit of a mind game; yes, you can feel entitled to some elements in a marriage, but pretend like you aren't entitled to anything.

When I do this, I find myself thinking, "Wow! He didn't have to do that." It makes me feel grateful for what I have instead of mourning what I don't have.

Here's an anecdote: I love to dance. Jeff doesn't. I use to coerce him into taking me to dances and such. Recently we were talking about this and our conversation went like this:

Me: I always felt a little empty once I would get you to dance with me because I knew you hated it.
Jeff:  (Jokingly) Yeah, that's because it was unrighteous dominion.

Once I lowered my expectations I became much more aware of the sweet things Jeff was already doing for me.

I N  S U M

Maintaining a happy relationship takes some intention. Through making your spouse's needs a priority, applying the five love languages, giving 100 percent, and being grateful/setting low expectations, your spouse will sense your care and appreciation for him/her.

In our case, our marriage has grown stronger in medical school than at any other time (in four years) by applying these guidelines. I love my husband, but more importantly he knows that I love him. Because we serve each other we look forward to being around each other.


PS - If you missed last week's posts, go check them out! I shared an interview with my husband, some family updates and a printable, and a wearable blanket for baby tutorial!

Have a great week.


Sunday, May 24, 2015

Birthday and Anniversary Shenanigans

First of all, hey! I have been absent lately for plenty of good reasons but primarily because of this cutie pie:


Yeah, she's precious.

Well, I don't have great pictures today, but I still need to write because this week was my birthday and my anniversary. It's one of those obligatory posts, you know...

So, birthday:

Jeff's birthday was two months ago, but whatever. I like sharing. :)

I have reached one of those arbitrary ages, so it's not too exciting. Yay, birth! Thanks, Mom. :)

Anniversary :

Claire: let's take a three-year-anniversary selfie.

Jeff: okay.


It was too bright for me, but apparently Jeff was unphased, haha. I am a mess. Also, do we look as tired as we feel? Because we are sleep deprived something fierce.

As a matter of fact, I have noticed a serious drop in my brain power since having a baby; the struggle is so real when I try looking at a menu, articulating my thoughts, or playing Bananagrams. It's getting out of hand, but goodness am I grateful for my wee babe. I need a nap, but here I am blogging at midnight while my baby is asleep. It's my life.

Well, here's a little update. Riley is six weeks old! She is really sweet and she gets cuter and more fun each day. She just started smiling voluntarily. 😍

She is still a bitty, little thing. She still fits in all her newborn clothes except for one pj set. She is long and skinny. It is so adorable.

She still has gas and a little acid reflux we think. It's her biggest struggle in life right now. She is fussy about half the time. The other half she stares fascinated at chair legs, walls, and other novel, high-contrast treasures. Haha.

I have been working really hard at eating right to prevent her aforementioned gas and reflux. You. Guys. No dairy, no gluten, no chocolate, no spicy food, no broccoli, no happiness. The list, if you can believe it is longer than that. Think I'm exaggerating? I am not. She has the hardest time if I indulge.


Healthy food. Boo. Just kidding. It is really refreshing and I like getting creative with oatmeal and rice products (feed me normal food!)...

Another update, I bought a great book for my birthday. It's called Permission to Parent. Just good old-fashioned authoritative parenting lit.


Can you believe it? More oatmeal. 

I love this book. I am 65 pages in and highly recommend.

Alright. I am getting my priorities straight and calling it a night.

Have a great week!